When it comes to your family, your wife (or husband), and your children you already know that it can be a horse-race when dealing with all of the emotion that boils from inside of your home. You have so many feelings from different individuals within your home, and that is not mentioning your coworkers, friends, and distant relatives. You have a job at home and that is to maintain stability and hold the household together with “common-bond glue”. You try so hard and sometimes it just slips from your grasp at every turn.
Tranquility can be hard to find but when you know the right key to use, that door of opportunity always opens at the right times. You, being a cornerstone to the household, have one important factor that offers you this bond for little effort. When you use this factor you start to see results immediately, and those who already utilize it know what I mean.
Honesty. This is the key, the great secret, the true faceplate for family oneness. When you create your life around honesty you can be assured that your whole family will begin to look at you through open eyes, and understanding connection and communication. When you become completely honest with yourself and your family you open doors that were closed prior. In honesty I don’t mean that you were lying before. This type of honesty is an honesty of self. You give your true self to your wife/husband, to your kids, even friends and family. This is when you learn to be open and truly honest when you speak. You go to them with respect, true concern, and heartfelt oneness.
When you begin to impress honesty upon your every move with your family, they begin to see you and your motives of love at first sight and they begin to read you, know you, and love you for the openness and fairness that you display. It teaches your children courage to be who they truly are, and to feel free about expressing themselves to you and with you without hesitation. Your unreserved behavior with them, allows them to be unreserved with you, and with children this can be one of the biggest blessing for any parent. But you can never receive this full respect when you do not feel comfortable enough with them to be fully representative about yourself with them. Children, tween’s, and teens need to know that you trust them in everyday conversation and opinions before they will feels secure enough within themselves to open up fully and completely with you. Show them the honest example and they will follow. Some see it as vulnerability, so therefore their children will grow up thinking that honesty and being open with those you love is a vulnerability. You can’t risk this way of thinking if you love your children, your wife, your family.
A family is one of the most beautiful symbols of unity. When a family works together to create a loving, sharing, and caring environment the results can be not only amazing, but down-right inspirational. We see images on TV of perfect families sharing stories and laughs, sharing care and responsibility, even making meal-time a look like a fairytale. But this comparison is shocking since most families in today’s society can hardly muster-up enough conversation to get themselves through a dinner around the kitchen table.
We are becoming clams inside of our hard shells. The few family members that fight to keep the family dream alive are usually not given enough credit to keep the motivation intact. Why has the disconnected family become the majority? Why are the pearls being dismissed?
We still have a fighting chance. Yes. We do. It is not all about conversation at the dinner table. It is a mix of many things. A connection within the family is built from years of compiled moments. A family is made strong through the idea based on the construction of a wall. Each brick being one moment of helping, sharing, or caring. Each brick built on top of another.
No one can build the ideal family relationship without effort. It takes everyone working together to create the love. If there are now teenagers in the house, and it seems to be impossible to conjure conversation, even then there is still hope. It is not all about relating to your children, your spouse, your parents. It’s about being true to yourself and realizing that each person is different, accepting the concept, and giving praise and appreciation for each person and each of their unique qualities. When this truly becomes the families platform then the miracles of communication and understanding will begin to flow.
When the parents judge the children, the children judge the parents, and everyone is conjuring judgements for everyone else the family becomes less of a family and more of a social pact. And it may even be a social pact that isn’t even social. When blame, hurt, and severed communication lines become a daily practice there is no where to go but in circles.
The greatest gift any family can give themselves is a lesson in non-judgement. Try it for just one day. The rewards from that one day will last a lifetime.
It is an epidemic amongst families in today’s society. With technology running wild and television taking precedence we are becoming zoned-out. The problem arises mostly from children, but parents can also find themselves stuck in front of the television acting as bad influences on occasion. Is there a point when it gets to be too much?
Absolutely, yes. There is a huge line between what is acceptable and what is plain out of control. Most families get a yearly vacation, maybe two, but it is seemingly troubling when children or husbands are bringing video games and other attention stealing technologies along on togetherness trips. The worst times come when the distraction begin interfering with daily work. If school work, such as homework, or family home life becomes affected by this time consuming nonsense then the line is being crossed.
Life is about togetherness, education, family and friends. When these things become clouded by means of technology, video games, and general meaningless activities, the home life can be affected in a bad way.
If your children’s grades are slipping, work is not being turned in, or they stop socializing it may be time to take action. The same goes for adults. If an adult in your family becomes preoccupied, or consumed, by things such as the internet and it is affecting the family it is time to break in and be noticed.
Begin by simply talking with them and making your concerns known. This will either work or it will do no good at all. In the event that is makes no difference then you may want to try setting up clear media rules for the household. Begin by setting deadlines and timed usage of things such as video games or computer internet. You may need to have another family member assist you if approaching an adult. You are not trying to belittle them. They may not even be fully aware that it is becoming such a problem.
By making your opinion heard and setting guidelines you can regain your family and rejoin the togetherness.
The average family is scared to death of certain conversations. Not only are the children blush-till-I’m-beet-red-embarrassed about certain topics, but the parents aren’t any less embarrassed about it.
As children age from innocence to teenage years the importance of these topics sky-rockets. The availability of time goes down and the average must-have conversations are not mentioned until they are four or five years past due. Eventually a lack of conversation will take it’s worst toll on the level of trust and honest communication that take’s place within the family unit.
Standing up for the one you love can be as simple as having a heart-to-heart chit chat. Unfortunately a lot of parents allow this simple topic to become the wedge that separates the understanding they have with their own child. Don’t risk it. Your families strength is more important than a short period of partial embarrassment. Besides, if the strength of the relationship is already there then level of this “embarrassment” should be very low to begin with.
Communication is the most important step in a strong relationship. Trust is the runner-up. If your teen has a true trusting relationship with you then this will not be an issue. It is imperative to let your teen know that you can handle anything they can give. You must instill the necessity and importance of coming to you for anything and being there for them whenever they have a life changing conversation on their mind.
Most parents feel that they just can’t relate to their teen. If most parents would continue the same strong communication and honesty with them as they did when the child was still young then most of the troubles would be answered through talking and discussion.
If you are approaching your teen for the first time on a specific subject be sure to use an upbeat tone, maintain eye contact, smile sincerely as much as possible to show confidence in their abilities, use open gestures, and give out the hugs. If you have a sensitive teen don’t be afraid to console them. Though you may need to get quick permission first, hugs and goodnight kisses are still important. Mother’s hold your son’s hand when he is opening up to you. Father’s give your Daughter’s hugs to show comfort. Do not be afraid of your teen and they will open up to communication with you.