Though the term play together/stay together may sound a little cliché the meaning is the heart of a healthy family. Many families have forgotten what it means to create playtime, fun time, and general family time. By simply learning to be fun and playful you can bring your family closer than it has ever been.
Younger families have the greatest advantages when it comes to family togetherness and playtime. When you have children that are younger than five years of age, it is easier to introduce family games, family rituals, and just plain family fun nights without the angst from your teen or tween. To show your children that it is ok to be young at heart even as parents is a gem that they will carry over into their parenthood. It is never too late to begin so do not be hindered even if your children are getting older.
Activities that bring a family together can be done creatively and with excessive amounts of fun even if the idea is thought up at the last minute. Older children can be brought into the family night idea by coming up with more “adult” centered ideas for activities. Mini-golf is great for younger children and adult golf can be good for children as young as seven to eight years. You know your child better than anyone and your intuitive creative abilities can help you to figure out the perfect fun night for everyone. How about devising a family meeting and asking everyone to vote on what their perfect family night out would be. This gets everyone involved right away.
Playtime, or family time, is not the only time to create togetherness. Put down the take out menu’s and plan a hands-on family dinner potluck. This way your older kids can do some online hunting for recipes and given the opportunity to create a fabulous dish for everyone to try. Mom, Dad, and the kids can all pick a dinner dish to make and everyone cram together in the kitchen for a night of dirty dishes, good food, and a variety of foods. If the ingredients for all of the dishes are in the kitchen already this can be a shop-less venture. Everyone helps clean up and everyone enjoys the benefits of the food assortment. Make it a finger-food theme and munch away while playing board games. Be fun and turn the coffee table into the dinner table while you play your favorite game in front of the TV. Make it ok, for one night, to be a kid at heart and eat on the floor. As long as you are together you can make any activity fun!
A simple “Thank You” can go a long way. This is no over statement. The power in gratitude can resonate through an entire day, week, or even through the years. One of the most important virtues any family can reiterate to their kids is thankfulness, gratitude, and being grateful for what you have in this life.
A simple way to express this gratitude (if you have smaller children) is to begin a tradition of thankfulness. When your children are younger, each Thanksgiving holiday, have every person in the family write down a list of ten things that are most important to them, in their life today. Put these lists in a large bowl and at the dinner table have each person draw a list to read out loud (unless some of the kids are too young to read on their own). Be sure to keep the lists each year and compare them to the last. You can watch them grow, and watch their maturity unfold in their thankfulness.
When it comes to a child’s thankful nature it can actually be dependent on the actions of the parents. When it comes to a child’s behavior at home, and school, activities such as chores, and demands such as good grades should be acknowledged with love; your personal time and attention. These are things that are asked of the child on an everyday basis and the rewards should not be connected with a physical ‘prize’. Giving prizes for normal good behavior will send a message of ‘buying their cooperation’.
A child wants to be thankful naturally and they would prefer your love, care and attention, rather than your money (teenagers are a different story). When it comes to treats, you want to give special rewards for a child’s special actions and achievements. Such as reaching a planned goal that they set for themselves. This type of reward reiterates determination, goal setting, and following through. Make it a big deal when presents are involved and this will make it clear that hard work and persistence pay off.
A big no-no for parents is forgetting to practice what you preach. When teaching thankfulness you must always be on-guard and remember to show thankfulness, and gratitude, yourself. If you ask your child to say “Please” and “Thank you” but you do not give them the same courteous treatment in return, when they show you kindness or do you a favor, then how will that look to them? Follow your own guidance and your lesson will be taken to heart.
Games are bonding activities just waiting to be played. When you play games with your children you are not only enjoying their company while having a blast but you are instilling a life lesson of togetherness and giving them a gift far more important than any Christmas present; the gift of You!
If you have a young family this can be a fun game to play one night a month, or week, to make dinner time even more fun. Call it what you like but the basic idea is to have dinner dress-up. Have everyone put their name on a piece of paper and place it in a bowl. Have someone draw a name each time the game is played to determine who selects the theme. If you select a duplicate two times in a row then draw again so everyone gets a turn. That person will select a theme, a famous family (i.e. the Adams family) to imitate. Together you will all select a certain time to begin the game so that everyone, even Mom, has time to get made-up before it is time for dinner (an hour before hand is usually adequate). This is a fun game for younger kids because they get eventually have the power to choose the nature of the ‘beast’ and they get to dress-up at the same time. Be aware that when a young girl gets to pick the theme, and a Father and brother are involved, feelings (and pride) can be hurt if the theme is too girly, such as “Princess”, so promote categories that will be gender friendly.
A really cool game that my families use to play when we were very little was a game of ‘Reverse’. Simple meaning; everyone put their name in a hat (or bowl) and each person has to draw the name of a family member and then act out, and impersonate, the person that they drew. When you play reversing the roles with the family members you may see a side of yourself that you weren’t aware of before. It is also a hysterical way to revamp a family gathering. This does not have to be tied down to family members only; it can be expanded to cartoon characters or anyone else the kids may know.
Finally, an age-old game used to provoke laughter, yet the point is to hold it back, using a timer set it to one minute. Going in a circle, each person has one minute to make the others laugh using anything they can find. Props can be used, anything around the area, but no touching. The ones who laugh are out and whoever is the last one left wins the round.
Are you busy all the time and needing some time off to mingle with friends or other families? Would you be interested in meeting with a parent/family support group? Do you want to meet new people, families, or friends for your children to play with? There are safe and easy ways to accommodate those of you who are looking to meet people with similar needs and interests.
This is the age of the internet and just as easy as browsing a few websites you can easily track down groups in your area that will connect you personally with support groups and meetings for families, parents, and playgroups for the kids.
Playgroups are simply that; groups that parents put together weekly so that their kids can safely meet and mingle with new kids in their area. These become even more popular during the Summer months when school is out. This can help fill the void of boredom that can occur during the Summer. Why not try going to a once, or twice weekly, meeting that allows parents to meet and greet while letting their children play and have a great time while making new friends.
Sometimes you just need some support and that’s where parental support groups come into play. You can find groups of adults that get together at a member’s house, or at a playground, to discuss common family issues and familiar parental concerns, while the children play together. These groups are popular for kids and adults because there is something for both to do.
A unique set-up that is hitting the fan of popularity is called a ‘babysitting co-op’. The news of these locally organized groups are spreading quickly. It is basically free babysitting in return for babysitting one night a week or month. Depending on how many adults are involved in the particular co-op you can go almost a month before your turn comes back around. The more attendants come to the meetings the more chances the parents get to enjoy some quiet time. It is a secure, safe, and reliable group that meets regularly to schedule sitting duties and to organize new members, and so on. This ingenious idea spawned from the infamous Mommy and Me groups that grew popularity a few years ago. Not only can parents benefit but the kids love having fun getting to meet new kids their age.