Family and Parenting: Information For Families

Life can get hectic and busy and downright stressful, but that’s just the way it is and as adults we learn how to maneuver ourselves through it, and usually come out the other end of things no worse for the wear. But we may be overlooking what our hectic lifestyles are doing to our kids. We as parents would never intentionally cause our children grief or despair, but that could be exactly what we are causing them without even knowing it.

Sometimes it really helps for us to vent and just get out all of our frustrations, fears, and anger. To let it all just pour out of us until it evaporates into nothing. Venting is a healthy way for people to release negative energy and move on to a more constructive state of mind. But our venting should be done responsibly so as not to let it make us feel worse and to prevent it from affecting those around us in a negative way.

Children can seem blissfully unaware of any of the stresses that life has to offer. They go about their day doing what the adults in charge of them direct them to do, and they play. But children see and hear a lot more than it looks like at first glance, especially when the news is distressing or it affects their own parents or family. Children look to their parents to dictate their own sense of security and stability. If the parents are calm and happy, typically the child will not have any reason to involve themselves or even pay attention to what the grownups are talking about. But when the talk turns to gloom and doom or the grown up is mindlessly talking about something that doesn’t sound too good, it can sound like the end of the world to a child.

It can be easy to forget how literal a child can take things, and how out of proportion we adults can blow things up. Unfortunately we cannot prevent our child from hearing every bit of bad news to surface, but we can make sure they don’t hear it from us.

One way to make sure we don’t cause panic or alarm in our children is to plan to take serious phone calls when they are not around. If a coworker calls to spread the news about how they just got fired, it’s best to have them call back when the kids are in bed or out of earshot. Actually, that just may be a call that you want to reconsider taking to protect your own sense of well being.

Being aware of our own reactions to things is very important when the children are anywhere near. Sometimes even adults can be drama kings and queens, and then it passes. But to the kids it is unclear if there is anything to worry about or not, so they most likely will.

It is also a very good idea to discuss finances, health concerns, and global woes with other adults, well out of range of the children’s antennas. These things can seem like such huge problems to kids that their sense of powerlessness can very easily turn into anxiety and depression. If the children are around too much for you to engage your focus on the worries of adulthood, be thankful for the distraction, it can do you good.

Most parents know that their child is the most beautiful person in the world.  Loving parents do not judge their children on their physical appearance.  And even though the way our children look has nothing to do with how much we absolutely love them, we still know that they are the most beautiful people in the whole world.  This unconditional love that we shower our kids with can actually be the reason our kids are sometimes able to develop bad habits or a physical problem that we are not immediately aware of, until it becomes a big problem that needs our attention right now.

One of the problems that we can miss until it is right in front of our faces is when our child becomes overweight.  From the time our kids are born it is our job to make sure they eat.  We need to make sure they eat the right things, in the right amount, at the right times.  Usually in the beginning, we are much more concerned with making sure that our baby is eating enough so that they will gain weight to grow and thrive.  Once our baby grows a bit, it becomes our job to introduce new foods to them so that they can get the nourishment they need to keep growing and thriving.  By the time our baby is no longer really a baby, to anybody else but us, they usually have the eating thing down pretty good and don’t need our help in that department anymore.  They may have even picked up some bad eating habits along the way or found foods that they like to eat even when they are not hungry because they like the way they taste.

Now we have a child, who is still the most beautiful thing we have ever laid eyes on, but they are carrying around a bunch of extra weight and it is now our job to help them take it off for the sake of their health.  This can be tricky because we have to temper our goal for their weight loss with their need to maintain their self love and self esteem.  We need to make sure that is it very clear to our child that we are not helping them get skinny or look better, but that we are helping them to learn how to take care of their bodies.

The best thing we can do to help our child really feel that we are doing what we are doing out of love for them, is to be a good example that they can follow every day.  Our actions should completely match every action we want them to take.  We need to eat the foods that we know they should be eating and not act put upon while doing it.  Eating as many meals with your child as possible will also give you the opportunity to practice portion control and enjoyment of each meal.  You can mention the benefit that comes from each morsel that you both consume.

Just as important as being a good example for your child with your eating habits is exercising with them, or letting them see you stick to your commitment of moving your body every day to keep it strong.  Making your child feel good about themselves from start to finish of their weight loss plan will be a job well done.