Family and Parenting: Information For Families

A nine to eleven year old shows growing signs of independence from the family. A child of this age leans on friends more and more. Healthy friendships are critical for development. While friends can be a very positive influence during this period, the child is also confronted by peer pressure, which can be a strong influence during this time. It is important to help enhance your child’s sense of responsibility and importance; this will help him or her to resist peer pressure and avoid potentially negative situations. Puberty is another huge milestone nine to eleven years olds may start to confront. It is a bigger issue for girls.

Parents need to support their children during this challenging period of middle childhood. To do so, they need to be aware of the different aspects of growth and development that take place. During this time, a child:

1. Feels more independent from family.
2. Grows closer to friends. Same sex friendships blossom.
3. Faces increasing peer pressure.
4. Deals with more academic challenges.
5. Gains body awareness as puberty rolls along. Eating and body image issues may start or heighten at this stage.

As a parent, you need to support your child at this stage of development. You need to help him or her build a sense of independence, self-confidence, and responsibility. Follow these steps to help you.

1. Promote open communication. Listen as your child speaks about friends, school, challenges, and more.
2. Play a role in your child’s school. Attend events and meet teachers.
3. Support your child to as he or she joins school and community groups.
4. Help the development of right and wrong in your child. Discuss risky behavior like smoking.
5. Meet the parents (and siblings) of your child’s friends.
6. Teach your child the importance of respecting others and helping people in need. Also, talk about reactions to disrespectful behavior.
7. Promote the development of the sense of responsibility in the child. Involve child in household duties and teach him or her about spending and saving money.
8. Set clear and straightforward rules. Make sure that you consistently stick to them.
9. Discuss the emotional and physical changes of puberty with your child.
10. Use discipline as a guide and form of protection, rather than punishment.
11. Do things as a family unit.
12. Show affection to your child and act as a positive role model.
13. Help your child set goals.
14. Encourage everyday reading.

Further, parents need to be very cautious about the safety of their kids during this phase of development. Since motor vehicle accidents are a leading cause of death among kids at this stage, make sure you protect your child in the car. Kids less than 12 years of age should ride in the back seat with a seat belt fastened. Always keep track of where your child is and if an adult will be around to supervise. If you will not be present, make sure you plan a calling schedule, and know when he or she will get home.